Your Silence Can Be Toxic

Lets continue the subject we started on the previous post “When NOT to give feedback?”

I am amazed at how many times I encounter bosses that do not give feedback to certain employees because they have no hopes that they will change. When someone in your team is underperforming, not showing a capacity for change, does not have the right profile for the job or is simply not up to speed with what the organization needs for him, that is perhaps the worst time to stay quiet about it and withhold honest feedback!

It used to be that when something like that happened, the person was immediately out of a job. Just like that. Out looking for a new one. Cold and callous? Maybe, but at least honest. People knew that they had to deliver, stay on top of their game, show an interest in their own progress. Nowadays, with the crisis and what not, there are no-hire policies in place, and fear moves both leaders and subordinates, creating reactions that turn out quite differently.

More than a few times in my client companies or those of my colleagues and friends I have witnessed people who believe they are doing well and all of the sudden lose their jobs, without any coherent explanation as to why. In that environment, they tend to cast people in villain or ally roles, making severe mistakes in their casting choices. The people who have been telling them they are fine are the real villains and those who were honestly expressing discontent with their work are the ones they should have been listening to in the first place. Learning is cut to a minimum and resentment escalates as the employee walks out the door.

The worst cost of all this is for those who stay at the company. They soon find out their leaders’ game and learn to mistrust all feedback, both positive and negative. What good is it to publicly reward and commend a collaborator if weeks later she will be fired for underperforming (even if you say its just random job cuts)? What good is it to hire a coach for someone you want out of your team as soon as a replacement is feasible? Why would you send that guy overseas for a year if he’s on your “never return” list? These examples sound extreme, right? well, each one of these questions is based on an actual situation, or several of them.

All these tactics, sometimes unconscious instead of Maquiavellian are much clearer to the work force than the bosses want to believe. They can see through you when you are favoring someone out of guilt for their impending downfall. Team members will not listen to your feedback if they see you say one thing in front of their colleagues and another behind their backs. The saddest thing is that you silence becomes toxic, not only for the person in question, but for all of the talent in your organization: those you value, the ones you are counting on for the long haul, those you want onboard with all their passion. Your silence makes it highly improbable to build an open, self-motivated, honest, focused team.

The reverse position? Being honest in the face of it all. Giving concrete, truthful feedback. Doing so with integrity. Having respect for each and every person who is in touch with you, even those that no longer serve your purpose in the workplace. That position requires courage. The courage and strength of a true leader. That’s the responsibility you accept when you are leading others. And if you don’t, in the end, that silence will become toxic to yourself as well.

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• Coaching vs. Feedback (aspire-cs.com)
• On the Outside (leadertalk.mountainstate.edu)
• When NOT to give feedback? (e-quidam.com)