Dropping the Balls

I know when I am in over my head because I start dropping the balls. Some of them fall on my head. Some go unnoticed for days. I might have forgotten to make a call, or a payment! I may have not gotten around to canceling that appointment, or that project! The point is, though my unconscious mind has much to do with which balls I drop, it does not mean that the dropped ones are the least important. I, like many others, have learned this the hard way. So, let me tell you what I find useful when I have become overextended.

First of all, I stop, if I can. Maybe not dead in my tracks, but stop and slow down to a virtual halt. Slow enough that I can see EVERYTHING I have been doing and everything I have not been getting to. I know, it seems like you can’t! That’s what got you in trouble in the first place. But this is JUST THE TIME to cut down on everything non-essential and take a good, hard look at where you are spending your time and your life. Check out the more recent things you’ve done first. Which of those could have been better delegated, postponed, cancelled or re-visited? Correct course on the non-essential ones now. Make those calls. Ask for help. Negotiate new levels of commitment.

Now look at those things that you did not get to. Look hard. Look for:

Avoidance. These are things that are important but you fear them. You dread what will happen when you do them. Or you don’t want them to end. Or you don’t want to face certain situations. Whatever the case is, take at least ONE specific action on each of them IMMEDIATELY! Get them over with and out of your way. Use them as learning opportunities about what you still fear and chances to face your fears up front. You will feel relieved even if there is no closure that you are moving these things in the right direction.

Neglect. Some things you do not really fear, but you have allowed yourself to drift away from them because there is no impending danger associated. Is it alright if I don’t call my friend in need? After all, I am busy and she will wait. I can get around to playing with my kids next year, right? Wrong. Make sure your priorities are straight and you are doing those things that are most valuable to you NOW! Make a do-able plan for the next few days. Use these stops (like the one you are in now) to do the truly valuable things for others and yourself. These are things that will energize you and give you strength to continue with the rest of it.

Failure to Say No. Some things you just shouldn’t have said yes to in the first place. They are not aligned with what you value. They do not contribute strongly to your commitments. They can be done just as well or better by another. Own that and go back to negotiate those agreements. It is better to say no now than never. Leaving it without doing will just put a strain on your relationships and on your ability to do more. Make this an awareness exercise and make sure to tell the people you are talking to why you said yes in the first place. Maybe you wanted to please them. Maybe you felt you owed them. Maybe you misjudged the extent of time it would take. Be gentle and realize that you might have to continue carrying this ball for a while, as you give the other time to re-organize themselves and change their expectations. Allow for that. Offer to do what is necessary to set things straight.

The point is, not only your productivity falls as you try to juggle too many balls, and the quality of your work suffers. So do your relationships. Tend to those first. Including the relationship with yourself! Then get to it. You will find more energy and more time to get right back into the ring.

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Any thoughts?

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